Spreadsheet Fantasy has seen a lot of ups and downs in its 100 weeks of existence. But let’s be honest, it’s always more fun to watch people suffer. Here are the top 5 heartbreaks.
5 – Fuchs 2012 Season – In his sophomore season, Andrew Fuchs got off to one of the hottest SSF has seen. When Hunter Mahan won his second tournament of the season in week 12 at the Shell Houston Open, Fuchs was on pace to shatter the all-time win record, and had solidified himself atop top the league standings. That was his last moment in the sunshine. The very next week Dave put up a league record 585 points, overtaking Fuchs for the league lead. Since the Masters (week 13), everyone’s favorite masseuse has managed only one week of over 100 points. To put that in perspective, the second worse total is Beast, at 5. Fuchs has gone from the best team in the league in year 3 to the worst, in a span of 19 weeks. If his heart isn’t broken over this, it sure should be.
4 – Close but no Cigar – The inaugural year of Spreadsheet Fantasy looked to be a cakewalk for James. After Osicking Phil’s win at the Masters, he had things on cruise control all year long and it looked like nothing could stop him. Well, almost nothing. The man who keeps a roof over his head and food in his belly had other things. Trailing James by more than 300 points heading into the FedEx Cup, things looked mightily bleak for the Beast. However, a Matt Kuchar win at the Barclays and numerous top tens during the first three weeks of the playoffs had Long John within 110 points of catching first place going into the Coca-Cola Tour Championship. Talk of an epic comeback dominated talk around the Hiebert dinner table all week long and Beast even bought an extra 12-pack of coke, in honour of the sponsor of the final tournament. The league’s eldest member put an Osicki on Kuchar in the final tournament, but he was only able to gain 20 points on James during the week, and had to settle for second.
3 – Lightning strikes twice – There’s only one thing worse than watching a person you once loved have success without. That thing is watching two people you once loved have success without you, and that’s exactly what happened to Lawrence in his inaugural season. After watching Rickie Fowler put up mostly mediocre numbers for the first third of the season, the league’s resident rookie dropped him to the waiver wire, where he was picked up within hours by Brent. Well, after being dropped, everyone’s favorite Orange Crush (Fowler) put up four top tens in his first four tournaments, including a win (Wells Fargo), a second (The Players), and a top 5 (Byron Nelson). While this Fowler was helping Brent pass Lawrence in the standings, Big Train traded one Webb Simpson to James for a first round pick. The 3rd weekend in June, who should win the US Open, but one Webb Simpson. Lawrence has since traded to get Simpson back, and is making some serious noise in the season’s final quarter, letting go of two of the games brightest stars have hurt his season dearly.
2 – Rory Tanks – With Rory McIlroy having won 2 majors in life at a younger age than Tiger Woods, its easy to forget the struggles he had the first time he was in serious contention in a Grand Slam tournament. The 2011 Masters. McIlroy brought a 4 stroke lead into the final round, and appeared to be firing on all cylinders. That all changed when he came to Augusta’s back 9. After nearly taking out the busboy in Butler cabin, McIlroy hit hazard after hazard and wound up out of the top 10. This put James in a world of hurt (especially considering unowned Charl Schwartzel won the tournament). Rory McIlroy’s Masters collapse is number 2 on our Heartbreak countdown.
1 – A-Damning Defeat – The 2012 British Open had the makings of being the least dramatic in recent memory. And that was just fine for Brent. Adam Scott had played the some of the best golf of his life, and held a four-shot lead heading into Sunday. A four-shot is also what he held with four holes to play, and his owner was already calculating a vault into a podium position in the standings. Then things unraveled. Bogies on 15 & 16, followed by Ernie Els (a player Brent traded away to get Gary Woodland earlier this year) draining a birdie putt on 18 brought Scott’s lead down to just one. An errant approach on 17 lead to a third straight Scott bogey, and when his tee shot on the final hole found a pot bunker, things were looking grim. Faced with a 9 foot par putt to force a playoff, Brent had found some optimism, but when it went wide left, he was crushed. Countless times that Sunday morning he had been cracking jokes about Scott being tied for the most major wins of any owned Spreadsheet owned player (since the league’s inception of course). Now, all he could do was cry, as one of his old boys celebrated, and he continued to look for a shot at glory.